Fates worse than death

I found myself bored tonight. I was going to blog, but my ASUS tablet was at 13% charge. I thought about what else I could do, so I thought of reading Dale Carnegie for the umpteenth time, but I notice Timequake beside it and thought how I haven't read it in a very long time.
As my ASUS tablet charged, I read Vonnegut's tired piece of work. I got to chapter 15 or page 52 for those that don't have a copy handy.
I think I own a few Vonnegut Books, but I know I own Timequake and Slaughterhouse Five. The latter I bought with a giftcard from my grandmother, I think. I don't buy books unless I have little choice. I like books, but I don't believe in buying them. Timequake was a present for X-mas back in '97 from my parents.
I have read Slaughterhouse Five numerous times. I have gotten something new from it after each reading, it seems.
I actually told a co-worker this aspect of book ownership on Friday. He's into Dave Ramsey, so I may have been too abstract in my explanation for him to read a book over time and get different meaning as life lived gives fuller context into the previously ignored words.
There are maybe a handfull of books I have read numerous times because they mean something to me enough to read multiple times... plus I own them, thus can re-read them accordingly.

• How to win Friends and Influence Others 
• Slaughterhouse Five
• The Philosophy of Andy Warhol, from A to B and back Again
• Freakonomics

I'm not a fan of Dave Ramsey. He seems to be like a pastor at The Vineyard where my former friend Mara once took me. John Lieb talked a lot, but all I heard was how he found Nietzche depressing so he never read him, yet knew enough to condemn his writings as an explanation for his death/insanity. Mr. Lieb also said stuff about money and how those new to the Vineyard were welcome guests, but those regulars were expected to pony up. I could be exaggerating, but I took notes, so I highly doubt the hyperbole end of my thinking.

Anyways, Dave Ramsey seems to mean well, but he's mostly hocking books for people to buy to make HIM RICH, just like John Lieb seemed to mean well, but he was hocking religion just so he could live well.

I'm a Clark Howard sort of guy, so I find anyone selling anything I can get for free as being a scamster.

I mentioned that I have quite a few other blogs. I actually added content to some of them this past week:

• Parenting Not From Concentrate - As a father of 3, I do things as a father that may be seen as good or bad things. Here I try to relate my life as a father.
• Reasons to Vote in 2016 - I am glad that Hillary Clinton was the biggest loser in '16.
• Bring Back the Fritos Chili Cheese Steakburger -  I miss eating my favorite meal. This blog is dedicated to the memory of the Fritos Chili Cheese Steakburger, and my search for a meal to replace it as my favorite.
• Job Search Not From Concentrate - I lost a job once, unexpectedly. Having an eye on the open job market is a good idea, for no job is ever 100% secure, in my opinion.

The thing about blogging that I find most interesting is that I change after time, so the  previous blog posts seem almost foreign after a while due to my context of life changing.

3 million

I should crop it, but meh, here's a screenshot of my stats from the original blog.



Yes, it says over 3 million page views. The AdSense balance has stayed at $10.71 for the last couple years, so I'm not sure what the traffic is doing. I blame the Russians and other foreign entities  for running bots to mess up the numbers, for I know no one is really reading my blog that's semi-abandoned.
I forced myself to blog daily once upon a time. It was stuff I saw from an article that listed stuff. Almost like my Dylblog, I had something which I was reacting...  but most of the time it was like a Diaryland thing or a meh about articles or news of the day. I had blogs about my family life and my work life but those matters were there as well.
I think I mentioned that I wanted my blogs to be more themed. This one is about my current mood of thought on a weekly check-in. I don't have a theme beyond it's less spastic than the original.
"Fake" actually seems to be a theme here.  The branding of blogs as being themed comes from Breitbart. I think there were a few like Big Hollywood and such that mocked the importance of things.
The weekly blog is self reflecting a lot of late.
I'm thinking of reviving all of my blogs as departments of my essence, rather than be confined to brain farts here, I'll summarize the week's posts from Dyland or link to them.
I'll have to create a list and have a summary of what each blog is about... like an annotated directory page. I like abandoning stuff, but I also need to improve upon  my hobbies.
Wait, did I just say I like abandoning stuff? I mean, I like leaving stuff as though I was done with it. Much like a novel, things get shelved as being complete. Blogs are weird in that only a drama queen would declare a blog complete, it seems... may be I'm just being silly.
I have bipolar disorder. My brain doesn't work like most people's,  I guess. That said, I have clutter than needs situated. Once I get situated I may be able to proceed and complete something worthwhile rather than piece mealing half thoughts and full meanderings.

hobbies aren't real

I look forward to dying, for by then I can look back and remember all the good things and not worry about my short fallings.
I'm not goal oriented. I just take a day at a time with a desire for something that meets my whimsy. Usually, I'm too busy or tired for whimsy. By busy, I mean looking at my phone. UK Daily Mail is probably borderline fake news.  I wonder if I could give it up like I gave up Twitter.
I abstained from following hockey throughout the regular season. I loved watching hockey, but now I have no idea when games are played. NBA is an after thought, though I was keen on the Celts during middle school.
Steelers are hard to avoid after week 8, but I ignored them  a good chunk before the playoffs.
Baseball has been meh. I endured 20 losing seasons, then got a winning season that fizzled. Not been so keen this year because of roster and injuries.
Would be nice to give up on fake hobbies that accomplish nothing for me personally.
Sure I remember the night I kept a bar open way past closing as I watched my Pens lose in 5OT. I don't recall the game much...for I was pretty drunk. I think it was a Thursday, so it was a good drunk from bottled beer as opposed to Wednesday's cheap $2 mugs of Miller Lite, or Friday's cheap pitchers of Miller Lite when pitchers started at $2.25 and went up every hour by either .25 or .50.
I always finished my first pitcher before the first hour, hence my fuzzy recollection of something I never bought. Binge drinking was a hobby, I guess. I don't drink now, but then again it would be weird to drink beer when my wife doesn't. She doesn't drink coffee, but that doesn't stop me from drinking a few pots of coffee a day.
I might have a coffee problem, actually. There are worse things.
I look forward to the day I have the best cup of coffee. I drink cheap stuff, so better stuff has to exist. I have yet to have the courage to find it. I have coffee problem as it is with the Maxwell House. Best coffee I ever had tasted so good that I think I had to pee a few hours from all of the refills.

Stats aren't real

I've no idea why my stats say the things they do for this blog. 

I had a bad weekend to end the month of April. I just assume forget it, or at least a part that I won't share with my wife since she feels it's necessary to not share details with me regarding most things.

She doesn't worry about the things I worry. Ignorance is bliss.

Would be nice to be debt free, but she doesn't care about how much we have, so she spends on what she feels we need. 

I look forward to death. Debt won't follow me there, yet I feel like it's sending me to an early grave. 

Treadmill of spending is the way I view my wife's perspective. She makes more, so she spends more, regardless of her salary not keeping up with the cost of living.

I don't regret having three kids. I just regret not having more money.

A guy I know has a gofundme page set up for his daughter's junior olympics bid. Nevermind that the guy sells houses and seems to have money to spend on himself. 

Gofundme is littered with sad stories, and his just seems sad to be bunched into the same realm as those sadder ones. If I were shameless, I'd have a gofundme page to help with the various costs that would be nice to have someone else pay.

My Samsung washing machine is hardly 4 years old and has never acted well since we had it past 90 days. Would be nice to replace it, but we spent $600 on it and a new one costs just as much. I will never buy another Samsung product.

I went to HH Gregg to see if they had anything, but they were picked over. 

Sad when stores go out of business. 

Have I mentioned that I've been remodelling the main bath? My mom offered to pay for someone to do it but of the 6 places I contacted, on 2 got back to me and they both said they were too busy to take my money. I just don't have the motivation to do it all in a timely manner given I work and my wife doesn't let me have time to do anything the way I want to do it.